What ended up happening is that we left so late that nobody was able to skydive because we weren't going to get to Wanaka on time. So instead we went to a place called Puzzling World. It's like OMSI, but instead of science and stuff, all they have is brain teasers and optical illusions. The whole thing was a big ass mind trip. It was well worth the stop. Here's what I'm talking about.
That's not actually what the bathroom looks like. And yeah their pants are down, but they're not actually pooping. This was right outside the bathrooms. Pretty strange.
After this we figured we'd get to the Glacier and stay the night there, wake up and do the hike. However, on our way out our van overheated. We pulled over to the side of the road and without reception, tried to figure this out.
Often times in situations like this it's best that everyone there not get involved. So while a couple people worked it out, the rest of us had a few beers and threw rocks. The scenery was damn fine too, there are much worse places that a van full of 11 people could break down.
We ended up having to stay the night in Wanaka while our vehicle situation got figured out. The van was out of commission and we needed something else. So we stayed in a hostel and had a decent night. There were hot showers, heated rooms, and a bar right downstairs.
The next day we got up, checked out, and went and chilled at a park for a few hours while we further sorted our vehicle situation. While we waited we thought of other things we could do with our day so that it wasn't a waste.
We eventually settled on quad biking at a place we heard about outside of Wanaka. And what a decision that was.
The quad bike adventure wrapped up with one guy smashing his face into his bike going off a jump, one of the girls tipping her bike into a stream and another guy falling off his bike going down a crazy hill. Despite the fact that we had a guide with us, we managed to do this. My quad muscles were sore the next day too.
This "guide" of ours was the most ridiculous man I've met in New Zealand yet. He was a guy from South Africa, who had retired from a career in stunting and monster trucking. The best word to describe this guy is "hick". He was also vain, arrogant, self obsessed, crude, racist, sexist and very homophobic - all in a sort of hilarious way. He tried to give us a lesson in psychology under the ruse that is was a part of his "briefing". The girls spent this "briefing" with their jaws dropped in shock, and the guys spent it laughing hysterically but mostly out of shock. It was a pretty fun time though and I'm glad we did it.
Here's me in my quad bike helmet, looking like the fuzz.
At this point now, we have two cars. One is a van holding 7 of us, and one is a sedan holding 4 of us. The plan is, since some people have finals they need to study for, they'll take the sedan home early and the rest of us will continue onward with the van. The sedan will split after our glacier hike on sunday.
But at this point in the adventure, it's saturday, we've just finished quad biking and we're heading to Franz Josef Glacier where we'll be staying the night. We won't be doing the Franz Josef hike though, because some falling rocks have ruined the walkway, so instead we'll be going to the Fox Glacier. No big deal, they're both glaciers and this one is cheaper for the full day guided hike.
The drive was beautiful. See for yourself.
Saturday night was the Wales v France Rugby World Cup semi final. Got to our hostel in time to frustratingly see the french win. I am not a fan of the french. Or their rugby.
The hike started at 9 in the morning and it was amazing. Our guide happened to be an American from the bay area, who's basically travelling the world and working as a mountain guide wherever he feels like. He was just in South America as well as Alaska doing glacier tours. I'm getting tired of typing so I'll just show you how awesome it was with pictures.
That night was the All Blacks v Australia match. All Blacks won, and it was awesome. They're playing in the final tomorrow night, and if they win, you better bet this whole fucking country is going to go nuts. This is going to be THE place to be in the world. And if the french win, i don't think anyone is going to be happy except the french. Nobody likes the french.
The next day, 3 of our travel companions left for Dunedin, while the rest of us prepared ourselves for the long drive up the west coast to Abel Tasman National Park. It was a 9 hour drive and I'm giving mad props to our driver who took us the whole way there and actually was the only one who drove the whole trip. Fucking great driver.
Once at Abel Tasman, we went straight for a hostel we had heard good things about called The Barn. It was 7:30 when we rolled in there, and apparently their reception closed at 7:00. There was a sign on their closed door that said, "make yourselves at home and we'll see you during regular open hours". We walked around and found that all the rooms were unlocked. So we made ourselves at home. We cooked in their outdoor covered kitchen and played drinking games with the Brits that were also staying there. Another pretty good night.
The next day we went sea kayaking. Our guide found a deserted beach where we stopped and he made everyone coffee. Nuts. Coffee on the beach? Never heard of such a thing. Time for more pictures, hope you're ready.
These pictures were not taken by me because I didn't bring the camera on the kayak. But they're pretty sweet pictures.
After kayaking half a day, our guide drops the bomb on us that we have to hike on our own the 6 miles back to civilization. So we took our leisure time getting back, since the day was so gorgeous and the weather was perfect. The Nelson area (which Abel Tasman is a part of) has the most sunny days per year than any other part of New Zealand. And it was damn sunny the day we were out and about on it.
The next day we spent 12 hours getting home. I don't really have much to say about that. We took some really cool piss breaks and stuff. All in all it was a good trip.
On Wednesday, I leave for the North Island with a couple of friends. We're going to see some really epic stuff. On the list of things to do will include the Hot Water Beach (where you literally dig a hole in the sand and it becomes a hot tub) and Mt Doom (it's not actually called that, but its the mountain from Lord of the Rings).
Til next time,
Peace out.
And remember, you don't stop playing because you get old, you get old because you stop playing.
Don't ever stop playing.
DFook
